MY APPROACH

Calm & Connected
Parenting

All of my work with kids & families is informed by my Calm & Connected Parenting philosophy.

Calm & Connected Parenting is my research-based approach to building healthy family relationships. It emphasizes the importance of creating a nurturing and supportive environment that helps your child develop into a healthy and happy individual.

My practical philosophy is based on the wisdom of psychology, biology, and neuroscience. I specialize in helping you understand how your body, mind, and relationships are connected, and how they shape you.

Calm & Connected Parenting tenets:

Parents are the primary force in a young child’s life, and the parent-child relationship drives a child’s growth and development. 

Mistakes are inevitable - raising a human is hard and exhausting work. We will make mistakes regularly. Our desire to “do better next time” motivates us to learn and practice new skills. 

Conflict is inevitable - our goals are often starkly different from our child’s goals (quiz: whose goal is it to eat cake for breakfast, parent or child?). Anger, arguments, and power struggles are to be expected (not a sign that something is wrong). Conflict can be handled with respect, while honoring your child’s wish that things could be different. 

There is no “right way” to parent - your family and culture inform your choices. What works for your child and family may be very different from what works for other children and families - and that is ok.

It is never too late to learn new skills for managing your emotions and relationships. 

Emotional fitness is like physical fitness: it can be strengthened; it benefits from practice; it can be fun, and it enhances life. When emotional fitness improves, health and happiness improve, too.

Being a parent is tough, especially when your child is struggling with emotional or behavioral challenges. I'm here to offer you my warmth, compassion, and expertise in helping your child and family thrive.

Behavior is communication; all behavior has meaning.

Being a parent is tough, especially when your child is struggling with emotional or behavioral challenges. I'm here to offer you my warmth, compassion, and expertise in helping your child and family thrive.

Emotions are signals - all of our emotions provide information - and all emotions are “good.” Anger and tantrums are a child’s way of saying, “things feel terrible inside of me right now.” Children can be taught to express themselves in healthier, more helpful ways - and adults can be taught to understand children in healthier, more helpful ways.

Our daily habits influence our emotional health and relationships: adequate sleep, balanced nutrition, unstructured play, regular exercise, and close relationships are critical to child and family mental health.

A sampling of Calm & Connected Parenting Skills and Tools you will learn:

Hand Model of the Brain and Flipped Lid Model of Dysregulation - use these simple, powerful tools to understand how our emotions impact our ability to reason and to connect with others

Tear and Repair - relationships experience stress and conflict (“tear”) regularly - learn the critical skill of “repair”

Managing conflict with respect - it is possible to validate feelings AND hold a high expectation for your child

Setting Loving Limits - the most challenging - and most important - skill: Learn tools to manage feelings and behaviors in helpful, healthy, relational ways (without shame, blame, punishment, or guilt). 

Reflect and Plan technique for learning from mistakes and challenges - and moving forward stronger

Tolerating and managing strong emotions - in yourself and in your child - particularly when you are simultaneously holding a boundary. Your child will NOT be happy all the time - learn how to keep your emotional equilibrium - even when your child has lost theirs.

Notice how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are related. Learn to distinguish helpful and unhelpful thoughts.

Identify patterns that hold you back - create new, helpful patterns of thinking and behaving

Why It Works:

With my playful, strengths-based approach, I help you and your child connect in a more meaningful way, addressing challenges as they arise. By fostering a calm and connected environment, families can experience:

  • Improved communication

  • Reduced stress and anxiety

  • Stronger family bonds

  • Better emotional regulation